The New Year is upon us and with it comes Dating Sunday, the busiest time of the year on the dating apps. But let’s be real: if you’re like many of my clients, friends, and me, you’re so over the apps. Whether you’ve deleted them for good or have paused on the swipe culture, you’re not alone.
So if you’re serious about finding a meaningful connection, here are 15 tips to improve your chances of meeting someone in IRL in 2025:
1. Don’t settle. Say goodbye to behaviors like situationships, breadcrumbing, and orbiting. You want to avoid relationships that don’t align with your long-term goals. They’re a time waster and can prevent you from connecting with someone else! Don’t settle for anything less than someone who makes it known that they are dating you—and proves it with their actions.
2. Clarify what you want. It’s easy to get caught up in the “I’ll know it when I feel it” mindset. But feelings aren’t always the best indicator of what’s best for you. Take the time to get clear about what you’re looking for in a partner so you can prevent wasting your (and your date’s) time.
3. Give a “maybe” a chance. You may not be 100% attracted to someone right away, but as long as they’re not a “hell no,” give them a chance. Attraction can grow when you focus on your date’s positive qualities and personality. And ladies, for the love of your future relationship happiness, ditch the 6-foot height requirement.
4. “You had me at hello” starts with body language. The dating apps have made rejection more prevalent than ever. If you’re hoping to make a connection with a cutie across the bar, make sure your body language says, “Come say hello.”
5. Don’t be afraid to make the first move. Even if your body language is open, some people will still need very clear signs that you’re interested, otherwise they won’t make a move. So shoot your shot, flirt, and let your interest be clearly known.
6. Strengthen your social skills. Common frustrations I hear from my single clients include: dates that feel like interviews, dates who don’t ask any questions, and dates who overshare personal information too soon. Being a great conversationalist and an engaging date is a skill that can be developed. Practice active listening, ask open-ended questions, be prepared with stories, and share appropriately to increase your success in getting another date.
7. Clean up your calendar. You need time to date. Period. Keeping busy can keep you single. It’s easy to let things fizzle when you don’t see a date for two weeks because your calendar is jam-packed. Schedule one less happy hour with a friend, shorten your workout, and decline some invitations.
8. Check your expectations. If you expect a Hollywood love story where the sparks last forever, or if you have a long list of boxes you expect your date to check, you will be disappointed. Sparks fade and there’s no perfect person out there. Staying flexible and open-minded can help you recognize the value in someone who may not be your ‘ideal” but could still be a great match.
9. Stay present. If you’re “too in your head” on your dates, you’re overanalyzing and being worried about the next thing that you’re going to say. These can lead to missed opportunities for genuine connection. Practice focusing on the present moment and most importantly, have fun!
10. Join a unique club or group. Sure, everyone’s into pickleball these days (except maybe me!). But look beyond typical hobbies and try something a bit offbeat. I recently found out about a secret pizza club in Chicago, where pizza lovers try pizzerias in different neighborhoods. Not only have I been having delicious pizzas and exploring more of my city, I’ve met a lot of fun people.
11. Do things solo. Sometimes the best way to meet people is to do things on your own. Go to a concert, grab a drink at a bar, or take a class. Going solo not only can provide you with opportunities to meet people, but it can give you a boost of confidence. It may initially feel scary to just show up by yourself, but the more times you do things solo, the more you can build your confidence. And let’s be honest, confidence is sexy.
12. Identify and work on your blocks. If you are scared of rejection, carry the weight of a past divorce, or self-sabotage when things start to go well, it might be good to take a break from dating. Work on removing those blocks and unhealthy patterns so that you’re emotionally available when you meet someone.
13. Work on your attachment style. Your attachment style has a significant impact on who you choose as a partner. If you have a non-secure attachment style, it can lead to unhealthy behaviors and choices in dating. Invest time in understanding and shifting toward a more secure attachment style—it can make a difference when it comes to long-term compatibility and relationship satisfaction.
14. Don’t give up. As cliché as this sounds, finding a great match takes time and effort. It’s easy to get discouraged and take long breaks from dating. But since the love of your life won’t show up on your doorstep, it’s important to keep putting yourself out there.
15. Come to our Chicago Singles’ Party. I co-founded On Love X, LLC, with Nick Thompson, where we host experiences for singles looking to meet people in real life. Attending an event specifically for singles takes away some initial barriers—you know everyone there is single, looking for love, and open to meeting people. Take this as a sign and sign up today. Sign up
Cheers to finding a healthy love in 2025!
Anita